My Helper

When you come to a point where a big decision requires financial resources, you learn really quickly whether or not you are a good steward of the money God provides for you on a consistent basis. In our case, we've been struggling with stewardship since day one. We're impulse buyers, and when you live on one income, that is not a pretty mixture. Dave Ramsey calls that having more month than money.

This is my struggle.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to stay at home with my boys. It's such a blessing and I cannot thank God enough for providing me this gift and I cannot thank Joel enough for his hard work and being the sole provider of our family income.

However,...

I keep up with our money management. Since Joel does all the work outside the home, I feel it's my responsibility to be frugal and keep us on track. So I feel that whether or not we're in the hole falls on my shoulders.

And I haven't done the best job at this, I'll admit. There are times when I can do really good and get a lot done financially and then there are times when the need to "keep up with the Joneses" kicks in and spending is a temptation we don't fight.

Blah.

But, we can only learn, right? And learning, I am! But now we're at this point where the decision we make solely depends on God's provision. I'm trusting that with God's provision, He will provide us an answer to where we go from here. It is completely out of my hands. I don't have any secret stashes this time (sometimes I have a secret stash for a rainy day.) So we'll see what He does.

God give me patience for Your provision.

As for me, since I am poor and needy, let the Lord keep me in His thoughts. You are my Helper and my Savior. O my God, do not delay. Psalm 40:17

After I prayed a prayer for God to guide us through His provision, I sat and opened up the book of Psalms and started reading. (I'm slowly reading through the whole book. If you haven't noticed almost all of my scripture references for the past few entries have been from Psalm... I'm taking it slow :) And of course, the verse above was right in my face.

I have to kind of laugh about this because He's showing me just how needy I am. My pride (again) always convinces me that I can figure out problems on my own. But this time, He's telling me that if we do it His way, I have to wait on Him. There's just no other option.

God give me the strength to resist my own strengths... because they do not compare to Yours.